May 2013
thecompanionsdoctor:
Whenever my friend says goodnight to me on Skype he sends me this gif
and I wanted to send it to him tonight so I went to Google “black man turning off lamp” but Google autofill changed it to “black man turning into jet” and I got this
Long story short it’s 1am and I’ve been laughing at this for approximately 20 years
Reblog if you want your followers to ask you...
Me: Humans are horrible creatures.
Me: Except band members they are perfect.
tappingtomlinson:
brittun:
tappingtomlinson:
THIS GUY IN MY CLASS NEXT TO ME WAS ON TUMBLR AND I LOOKED OVER AND ONE OF MY TEXT POSTS WAS ON HIS DASH AND I ALMOST CHOKED ON MY OWN SPIT
DID HE REBLOG OR NOT THAT IS THE QUESTION
HE DIDNT AND I FELT SLIGHTLY OFFENDED NGL
So I was driving along with my best friend in the passenger seat next to me. Suddenly the car in front of me skidded on ice and I had to emergency brake. Before I knew it my hand was across my friend to stop her from flying forwards She looked at me and told me she couldn’t believe that my first thought would be to save her. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that, as a pizza delivery driver, I...
gothicstan:
gothicstan:
gothicstan:
i just gave a stranger on the internet my address so they can buy me pizza
my foLLOWERS ARE THE EBST??? OH MY GOD
LOOK
PIZZA
my mom saw the pizza and she knows im broke and now shes really mad and im grounded
REBLOG IF YOU WANT THE FOLLOW LIMIT OF 5,000 BLOGS...
loregasmic:
Dear Tumblr: Restricting the amount of blogs I can follow is a fuckload of duckshit. Cease and desist.
P.S. If the limiter is removed, I will follow back everyone who reblogged this.
birds-bones:
Hey! Did you know:
sex is okay
one night stands are okay too
having sex with multiple people doesn’t make you a slut
even 3-somes or group sex and orgies are a-okay
sex with the same gender is alright
not having sex doesn’t make you a prude
your body your choice no matter your gender
shaming other people for who they have sex with, how much they have sex, and even their...
gwenstefuckme:
When your sneeze turns into a fucking death metal scream
witchpop:
why do u only have 1 wing
poopflow:
at prom some girl dropped her corsage and cut her toe and she was bleeding so the dj stopped the music and i said “i guess there really is blood on the dancefloor“and my date slapped me across the face
internetexplorers:
mirror selfies are nice because my phone covers up half my face
hipster blogs: omg i would be so dead if my parents found my tumblr
me: i'm sure the photos you took at starbucks are extremely incriminating
laughingnancy:
i dont understand how my room can be so messy even though i’m on the computer like 24/7
THERES ONLY 116 SAND CATS LEFT ON EARTH
ceruleansugar:
fruityassfactory:
twingeneticist:
THERES
ONLY
116
SAND
CATS
LEFT
ON
EARTH
brb dying inside
yikes
thepensivebrony:
“you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you”
finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever
have you ever fallen in love with a song and put it on repeat for 8 days straight and literally bathed in it and memorized every word and breath and drum beat and guitar string and just married it because wow perfect and then overplayed it and got bored of it but still had a special place in your heart for it
because i have
you’re about as irrelevant as Mean Girls 2
